Share in this blog a description of three different moments when your nonverbal communication was misunderstood or hindered you in achieving effective communication? What happened? What should you have done differently?
The question is what kind of nonverbal and communication could be misunderstanding. Let me try to describe some of them since I am not sure if I did something wrong in the work place in the past. I did replay a couple times some inappropriate e-mail but nobody complied or felled offensive yet. Sexually explicit language, obscene jokes, suggestive remarks, inappropriate touching, sharing a questionable e-mail or photo most of us would find all behaviors on that list offensive. The fact that some or all of the above offend some people can place those actions squarely under the heading of sexual harassment. Although offering or demanding sexual favors in return for rewards in the workplace clearly qualifies as sexual harassment or sex discrimination, a harder-to-recognize kind of harassment is defined by the Enforcing Equal Opportunity Employment. Such conduct “has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with another employee’s job performance or creating an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment.” Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act prohibits sexual harassment. Suppose someone is told that keeping his or her job or receiving a raise or plum assignment depends on submitting to sexual advances or granting sexual favors; that is sexual harassment, pure and simple. I am lucky because never happen to me but I am also lucky to know that and be aware of that and knowing how to act if would happened is priceless. If it happens to you, report it immediately to the ethics hotline, to your supervisor, or to another supervisor. A hostile work environment is one where sexual conduct between coworkers is offensive to either one of them or an observer and that may include the actions listed above. Education and training play an important role in cultivating an environment free of harassment. Additional training in larger organizations is usually offered by human resources. Some people may fear that their complaints will be ignored or that reporting an incident will become a negative in their work record. Neither is the case. Companies should take all complaints of sexual harassment seriously and investigate each thoroughly and discreetly. Both sides are considered, and disciplinary action is often taken against proven violators as well as those who make false accusations.
I have more than three examples of noverbal communication gone wrong unfortunatley. My first example would be threw an email where I was trying to express myself but I believe it came out wrong and it started a mass of offensive emails. It finally ended but it could of been avoided threw picking up the phone or simply using different language threw email. This is hard because emails have no voice. It is all on assumptions and pre determined opinion. I am now more careful in responding to emails and being more cautious so I dont offend anyone. A second example is body language. A friends friend was under the assumption I was intersted in them when in fact I wasnt. I replayed certain conversations to try to think back as to how and why my friend's friend would think I was interested. I would have to say I have learned to watch my nonverbal communication by watching my hand gestures and facial expressions. The third example I can think of is at work. This particular day a customer was annoying me and I rolled my eyes. This was rude of me and evident I was annoyed. I have to work on taking the emotions out of the work place.
There are many times where my non-verbal communication has been misunderstood. Actually this past weekend is a perfect example, when i wrote an e mail to a "friend". She was under the impression that all the bridesmaids in my best friends wedding put a plan of attack against her, when really it was her boyfriend's friends that don't like her. Although it was hilarious and I don't feel bad for her, I wanted to let her know that it was not our idea and that she needs to say sorry to the bride instead of blaming everything on her. So I did, through e-mail. She came back with this hostile e-mail saying that "she owes nothing to anyone". I really wasn't mad when I was writing the e mail. However, now I am mad. I should have probably spoken to her in person so she didn't get the wrong idea. Another example is when I go to work and I am very tired. I don't say much to anyone, and that's not like me. I am usually very cheerful and loud. When I'm tired I just keep to myself. Everyone constantly asks me what is wrong. I tell them nothing and they continue to hassle me. Finally i say, "I was at school all day and I am exhausted!" I guess maybe when I go in, I should just tell them that from the start, instead of getting annoyed and yelling when they ask. One last example, is when I am in school. I sit at my desk and constantly doodle on my notebook, check my phone, or daydream. I know that this gives teachers a bad impression about me. I'm sure most of them look at me and think that there is no way I am going to pass their class, lol. It's just my personality, and I actually am paying attention. I just constantly have to be moving. This semester I have gotten a little better, however it's still early. I know for a fact this give teachers the wrong impression, and I need to keep working on it. I do not want people to look at me badly when I start my career one day.
First, I want to start off by explaining my “in thought” facial expression. I hear all the time that I look mad in my every day facial expression; and it’s true! I myself even notice, when I’m feeling emotionless, day dreaming, listening ECT. I look angry, when 90% of the time I just don’t realize that I’m being portrayed like that. That is something that I need to keep in mind when I’m communicating to another person. Especially when it’s a person I do not know, or if we are discussing a topic that may make the other person feel uneasy. Because I do not want someone’s first impression of me to assume I’m a negative or depressed person. When actually I’m a very up beat person.
Another I can think of is when I take deep breaths. If I’m in a situation where I’m starting to loose my patients, sometimes I’ll take a deep breath, and if I’m just relaxing or in conversation ill take a deep breath. Many times, my receiver will take that as a sigh, or a remark that makes them feel I’m beginning to not want to deal with them. This in most cases is not true. I pay attention to how I take a deep breath and when I do, because I’ve noticed in the past people take it offensively when in reality, it’s just me trying to get more relaxed.
My last example is in the work place or school. If I’m trying to make a good impression, or I’m dealing with individuals who are not particularly “friends,” just maybe acquaintances’ or co-workers, I try to be self conscious about my appearance. If I came into work with my hair in a messy bun, wrinkled cloths, biting my nails or dragging my feet, I know that’s not the correct way to hold my image. In the work place I want to be taken seriously, and my image does have a huge roll in achieving how serious others take me. Now, if I was at home, I might be more likely to forget about my image and just get comfortable doing my daily things. But that’s when I’m around others who are close to me and I don’t need to maintain a tidy image.
There are many ways a non-verbal communication can be misinterpreted, especially in today’s technological advances with emails and text messages. I haven’t had too many non-verbal communication mishaps in the past, but they have happened. At work I received an email from my superior that said that I did not create an attachment properly, because I never entered the figures in the program. Some of the words were capitalized so I took it as if I was being yelled at. Now furious, I wrote a reply saying in essence that the attachment was done correctly and that I did not appreciate the tone in which I had received. My superior later replied saying that I had misunderstood the message, for it was capitalized only to show importance. Another example would also be at work. Usually I am pretty energetic and enthusiastic toward customers, but when I’m tired or not feeling well I think I come across as rude or “stuck up”. My family tells me that you can tell a lot about me from my body language, so with that in mind I need to be more conscience of my non- verbal messages.
In today’s workplace environment there are many ways that non-verbal communication can be misunderstood. Personally, I think I have encountered many misunderstandings of non-verbal communication in all of my previous employments and also at school. For example, one day I was sitting at work doing paperwork and all of the sudden my boss comes into the room. She doesn’t acknowledge any of my co-workers or me, and then she rushes out of the room. Everyone thought that we did something wrong or that she was mad at us for some reason. What had happened was that she was upset with one of the other customers because they were making requests to her, that she wasn’t even in charge of. A few minutes later she comes in, and she talks to us like nothing was wrong, and then she told us what had happened. If she never had come in and talked to us after the incident, we would still believe that she was upset with us. Another example, one of my co-workers is always talkative and energetic, one day she came in and she didn’t even talk to any of us. We also thought she was upset and that there was something wrong, but all that happened was that she was really tired and needed some sleep. Lastly, I have also gotten in uncomfortable situations because I was misunderstood at the workplace. One time, my co-worker asked me if I wanted coffee, and it was noisy at that moment so I screamed and said “No.” Well just by the tone of my voice, she thought I was yelling at her, instead of only trying to get her to hear me. Needless to say, she was upset with me because she thought I was being disrespectful. Thankfully, I was able to explain to her what happened and resolve the problem. As you can see, all of these situations could have created a problem in the workplace between co-workers. Fortunately we were able to discuss the problem and prevent it from escalating any further.
Nonverbal communication can be very interesting to decipher, and at times it can accidentally lead to misunderstandings that can hurt a relationship or friendship temporarily.
One example of nonverbal communication gone wrong was the other day when I was talking to a friend. It had been a long day of work and school, and he asked me how I was feeling. I said I was doing fine. Apparently, my nonverbal cues said otherwise. He kept asking me if anything was wrong. I maintained that I was doing just fine. He said there was no way I was doing just fine. This is a time when nonverbal communication can conflict with verbal communication and hinder conversation.
Another example of nonverbal communication gone wrong was when I was waiting at a doctor's office to be seen at the doctor. Unknown to me, somebody I had known from back in high school was sitting a few seats next to me. A few minutes into the wait, I finally noticed him, and after we introduced ourselves again, I asked him why he didn't talk to me earlier if he had seen me. He told me that I had my arms folded and I looked like I didn't want to bothered. That wasn't the case. This is another case where nonverbal communication can be at odds with how you really feel.
The last example of a misunderstanding of nonverbal communication came in an email I sent to my Dad. He sent me an email, and I sent a reply back stating I didn't want to be bothered. I would never say anything like that to my Dad, and the comment was meant to be tongue-in-cheek and funny. He didn't take it that way... he was made when we saw each other later. Email is an example where nonverbal communication can go bad.
What can be done differently to avoid these instances? You just need to be more careful how you portray yourself. Your nonverbal cues are just as important as what you say verbally.
The first of my examples of poor non-verbal communication comes from our own class setting. During our last class the professor interpreted my non-verbal communication to be of remote disinterest, due to my looking at the screen of my computer, and sudden moments of participation. While the professor perceived my non-verbal communication to be one of disinterest, I was in fact interested and following along with the class. This first instance of non-verbal miscommunication shows that I could have achieved more eye contact with the professor, or perhaps could have maintained better posture to show the professor I was involved in the class, instead of slouching and looking at my computer. The second example of poor non-verbal communication comes from a recent instance in my workplace. As a waiter clearing plates away from a table is part of my job. My usual non-verbal action when clearing the plates is to do a kind of and wave while I stand to the left of the person, at which point they normally nod for me to remove their plate. In this particular instance I preformed my non-verbal action, and the woman nodded, however, when it came time for me to place the desert menus she asked me, “Where’s the food.” I politely said that I had discarded the food, at this point the woman became enraged because there was a breakdown in the chain of non-verbal communication. I believed she did not wish to take her food home when she in fact did. To avoid this in the future perhaps the supplementation of verbal communication to this non-verbal action would help to avoid such incidents in the future. The third non-verbal misinterpretation stems from another situation at work, at a table of four gentlemen, one signaled that he wished to have the check by signaling me with his eyes. I approached with check in hand, at which point the man slipped a credit card to me, I thought I heard some commotion at the table, but left to run the card, when I returned two of the other men at the table told me I should have known it was the man who paid’s birthday, since they said nothing, I imagine they wished to have me discern this from their non-verbal communication, and while sometimes such a feet is possible, however, it was not in this instance.
Non-verbal communication can be misinterpreted very easily especially in today’s technologically advanced professional and social world. I have experienced misunderstandings mostly through emails and text messages. A friend and I were text messaging back and forth about various subjects and when she used capital lettering or over punctuated I didn’t know whether she was angry with me, yelling at me, or excited in a positive way. My second incident of non-verbal misinterpretation happened while at work on a busy Friday night. I work in a restaurant and guest satisfaction is the most important goal for us. I had a party of 9 come in during the peak of our wait, and one of the guests in the party asked if they could be set up in the bar. That was no problem, I estimated and calculated a quote time for them and told them I would keep them updated with the status of their table. 20 minutes later, she came back to me saying that they changed their minds and would like to be in the dining room, and I had already made arrangements for them to be in the bar, I had other parties waiting ahead of them who had already requested the dining room, and I looked at her with a blank stare and then quickly caught myself, smiled and explained to her that it was unfortunately going to be longer to accommodate her change of preference at the last minute while I was on a 40 minute wait. But in that moment that I didn’t speak, I gave off a single or vibe that I was annoyed and aggravated. I quickly realized my emotions on the inside were showing on the outside. Lastly, another incident at work occurred when my GM sat me down at the end of my shift and told me he knew something was bothering me and was worried about me and wanted to know if everything was alright. I changed my demeanor immediately and told him I simply wasn’t feeling so well and I was just tired from over-exerting myself between work and school. I am normally a very energetic, talkative person when I’m at work and because I had a few days where I kept to myself and looked a little gloomy, he thought there was more to it. My body language and attitude were a dead give away.
Non-verbal communication can often times create alot og grey area in which the meaning of the communicator is lost especially when the person recieving the message has a frame of reference that creates miscommunciation. My three examples are first while building a deck and concentrating on what I was doing my boss asked me a question. I heard the question and without diverting my attention gave a very short succint answer. This was misinterpreted as me being angry because of my body language and when my boss asked what was wrong I had to explain that I was not angry and it's just I didn't want to take my concentration away from the task at hand. Second I really don't like short abbreviated text messages using improper grammer and punctuation. So when i write my own texts they're usually grammatically correct this has occasionally led to the misunderstanding that i'm angry because of the way my tone is percieved by the reciever. Finally I'm not a very smiley person. It's not that I'm unhappy or upset I generally just dont tend to have a big smile on my face and feel unnatural when i try and force it. In the past this has led people to assume incorrectly that I'm upset about something or not such a nice person. It's pretty difficult to get me upset so I would say 99.9% of the time if I'm not smiling it's not because I'm upset and as for being a nice person I'd like to think I am but i supppose that question is better left to those who no me. The point is that people who don't know me occasionally make the assumption that no smile means I must be mad.
One example when my nonverbal communication was misunderstood was when I was with a group of friends. I was very quiet that day because I was very tired from being up late the night before. They assumed I was mad or upset about something, but really I was just exhausted. Obviously they did not clue in to what I was nonverbally communicating, or maybe I was unaware of how others would perceive it.
Another time was at school. The professor was communicating to me about instructions and how to complete a certain assignment. I did not respond to her thinking that she would understand that I got the message. She took this as me being rude and inconsiderate when I did not intend for that at all. I quickly confirmed that she had misunderstood and that I was just taking in the information she was giving.
The last example from past experience was at work. I had not spoken to my manager for my entire shift and she had thought I was avoiding her and possibly not doing any work. When she had finally come and spoken to me I quickly cleared that up and showed her what I had been working on the entire time. The whole back room was taken from an array of disorganized items, boxes, and crates and turned into a very neat and orderly configuration. Needless to say, she was pleasantly surprised.
The first moment in which my nonverbal communication was misunderstood was when I was coaching football. One of my players had come through the line to block a kick and completely took out the holder and kicker which is normally a dirty play and unacceptable. Noticing what had happened but not really registering it in my head I started to clap and get excited because a weaker player got through the line and actually blocked the kick the right way. The kid who had the cheap shot of a hit came running over to the sideline all pumped up and celebrating near me because he thought I was excited he did that. I eventually explained to him how that was wrong and even yelled at him a little because he knows better than that. If I had waited until the kids came to the sideline and spoke to each player individually, the player who did wrong would have immediately realized he was wrong and I would have congratulated the other kid. The second time is also on the football field, only I was a player. I was playing in a real intense game where the score was close and both sides were all fired up. There was this one play where the other team was on offense and it was 4th down. They decided to go for it and ran a play around the outside. I came up and laid a big hit on the running back to knock him out of bounds just short of the 1st down. Everyone on my team and the fans went crazy because now it was our ball, but after the hit I stood over the kid a short moment and stared at him. I was doing so because the kid wasn’t getting up right away and he looked hurt, well the referee’s thought I was taunting him and celebrating so they threw a flag which gave the other team a 1st down. If I had hit the kid got up started to walk away and didn’t stand directly over the kid it wouldn’t have seemed like I was taunting him. Due to the emotion and scenario of the game that’s what it had looked like. The third and final moment didn’t really happen to me but I was in the car. My dad and I were on our way to a game of some short, I think it was soccer when I was little. We come through an intersection where my dad slows down and is confused on what this cop is doing when he came to the intersection. My dad must have give a look of confusion or something like that to the cop because the cop swung around and pulled us over just pass the intersection. When he approached the car he had asked my dad what all the dirty looks were for and my dad explained to him his side of the situation. Needless to say we didn’t get a ticket or anything but if my dad hadn’t given off the wrong impression and not made his facial and physical expressions the cop wouldn’t have pulled us over.
My first time where I encountered a lack in nonverbal communication is through text messages. Talking through text messages it is hard to get across they way you want something to sound. The way you word things is very important because people can take it the wrong way but that is now you wanted it to come across as. Another example is in my workplace. When I am either tired or have to stay later because people decide not to show up I tend to show it. I get aggrevated and don't act the way I should be towards customers. I feel that that is a big problem because sales strive on customer service and how you treat them. So I turned around and changed my demeanor towards my customers. Finally my last nonverbal communication was misunderstood is when I am tired and I tell my friends I don't want to go out. They take it as I dont't want to see them. I realized there are different ways to tell them through messages.
The question is what kind of nonverbal and communication could be misunderstanding. Let me try to describe some of them since I am not sure if I did something wrong in the work place in the past. I did replay a couple times some inappropriate e-mail but nobody complied or felled offensive yet.
ReplyDeleteSexually explicit language, obscene jokes, suggestive remarks, inappropriate touching, sharing a questionable e-mail or photo most of us would find all behaviors on that list offensive. The fact that some or all of the above offend some people can place those actions squarely under the heading of sexual harassment. Although offering or demanding sexual favors in return for rewards in the workplace clearly qualifies as sexual harassment or sex discrimination, a harder-to-recognize kind of harassment is defined by the Enforcing Equal Opportunity Employment. Such conduct “has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with another employee’s job performance or creating an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment.” Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act prohibits sexual harassment. Suppose someone is told that keeping his or her job or receiving a raise or plum assignment depends on submitting to sexual advances or granting sexual favors; that is sexual harassment, pure and simple. I am lucky because never happen to me but I am also lucky to know that and be aware of that and knowing how to act if would happened is priceless. If it happens to you, report it immediately to the ethics hotline, to your supervisor, or to another supervisor.
A hostile work environment is one where sexual conduct between coworkers is offensive to either one of them or an observer and that may include the actions listed above. Education and training play an important role in cultivating an environment free of harassment. Additional training in larger organizations is usually offered by human resources. Some people may fear that their complaints will be ignored or that reporting an incident will become a negative in their work record. Neither is the case. Companies should take all complaints of sexual harassment seriously and investigate each thoroughly and discreetly. Both sides are considered, and disciplinary action is often taken against proven violators as well as those who make false accusations.
I have more than three examples of noverbal communication gone wrong unfortunatley. My first example would be threw an email where I was trying to express myself but I believe it came out wrong and it started a mass of offensive emails. It finally ended but it could of been avoided threw picking up the phone or simply using different language threw email. This is hard because emails have no voice. It is all on assumptions and pre determined opinion. I am now more careful in responding to emails and being more cautious so I dont offend anyone. A second example is body language. A friends friend was under the assumption I was intersted in them when in fact I wasnt. I replayed certain conversations to try to think back as to how and why my friend's friend would think I was interested. I would have to say I have learned to watch my nonverbal communication by watching my hand gestures and facial expressions. The third example I can think of is at work. This particular day a customer was annoying me and I rolled my eyes. This was rude of me and evident I was annoyed. I have to work on taking the emotions out of the work place.
ReplyDeleteThere are many times where my non-verbal communication has been misunderstood. Actually this past weekend is a perfect example, when i wrote an e mail to a "friend". She was under the impression that all the bridesmaids in my best friends wedding put a plan of attack against her, when really it was her boyfriend's friends that don't like her. Although it was hilarious and I don't feel bad for her, I wanted to let her know that it was not our idea and that she needs to say sorry to the bride instead of blaming everything on her. So I did, through e-mail. She came back with this hostile e-mail saying that "she owes nothing to anyone". I really wasn't mad when I was writing the e mail. However, now I am mad. I should have probably spoken to her in person so she didn't get the wrong idea.
ReplyDeleteAnother example is when I go to work and I am very tired. I don't say much to anyone, and that's not like me. I am usually very cheerful and loud. When I'm tired I just keep to myself. Everyone constantly asks me what is wrong. I tell them nothing and they continue to hassle me. Finally i say, "I was at school all day and I am exhausted!" I guess maybe when I go in, I should just tell them that from the start, instead of getting annoyed and yelling when they ask.
One last example, is when I am in school. I sit at my desk and constantly doodle on my notebook, check my phone, or daydream. I know that this gives teachers a bad impression about me. I'm sure most of them look at me and think that there is no way I am going to pass their class, lol. It's just my personality, and I actually am paying attention. I just constantly have to be moving. This semester I have gotten a little better, however it's still early. I know for a fact this give teachers the wrong impression, and I need to keep working on it. I do not want people to look at me badly when I start my career one day.
First, I want to start off by explaining my “in thought” facial expression. I hear all the time that I look mad in my every day facial expression; and it’s true! I myself even notice, when I’m feeling emotionless, day dreaming, listening ECT. I look angry, when 90% of the time I just don’t realize that I’m being portrayed like that. That is something that I need to keep in mind when I’m communicating to another person. Especially when it’s a person I do not know, or if we are discussing a topic that may make the other person feel uneasy. Because I do not want someone’s first impression of me to assume I’m a negative or depressed person. When actually I’m a very up beat person.
ReplyDeleteAnother I can think of is when I take deep breaths. If I’m in a situation where I’m starting to loose my patients, sometimes I’ll take a deep breath, and if I’m just relaxing or in conversation ill take a deep breath. Many times, my receiver will take that as a sigh, or a remark that makes them feel I’m beginning to not want to deal with them. This in most cases is not true. I pay attention to how I take a deep breath and when I do, because I’ve noticed in the past people take it offensively when in reality, it’s just me trying to get more relaxed.
My last example is in the work place or school. If I’m trying to make a good impression, or I’m dealing with individuals who are not particularly “friends,” just maybe acquaintances’ or co-workers, I try to be self conscious about my appearance. If I came into work with my hair in a messy bun, wrinkled cloths, biting my nails or dragging my feet, I know that’s not the correct way to hold my image. In the work place I want to be taken seriously, and my image does have a huge roll in achieving how serious others take me. Now, if I was at home, I might be more likely to forget about my image and just get comfortable doing my daily things. But that’s when I’m around others who are close to me and I don’t need to maintain a tidy image.
There are many ways a non-verbal communication can be misinterpreted, especially in today’s technological advances with emails and text messages. I haven’t had too many non-verbal communication mishaps in the past, but they have happened. At work I received an email from my superior that said that I did not create an attachment properly, because I never entered the figures in the program. Some of the words were capitalized so I took it as if I was being yelled at. Now furious, I wrote a reply saying in essence that the attachment was done correctly and that I did not appreciate the tone in which I had received. My superior later replied saying that I had misunderstood the message, for it was capitalized only to show importance. Another example would also be at work. Usually I am pretty energetic and enthusiastic toward customers, but when I’m tired or not feeling well I think I come across as rude or “stuck up”. My family tells me that you can tell a lot about me from my body language, so with that in mind I need to be more conscience of my non- verbal messages.
ReplyDeleteIn today’s workplace environment there are many ways that non-verbal communication can be misunderstood. Personally, I think I have encountered many misunderstandings of non-verbal communication in all of my previous employments and also at school. For example, one day I was sitting at work doing paperwork and all of the sudden my boss comes into the room. She doesn’t acknowledge any of my co-workers or me, and then she rushes out of the room. Everyone thought that we did something wrong or that she was mad at us for some reason. What had happened was that she was upset with one of the other customers because they were making requests to her, that she wasn’t even in charge of. A few minutes later she comes in, and she talks to us like nothing was wrong, and then she told us what had happened. If she never had come in and talked to us after the incident, we would still believe that she was upset with us. Another example, one of my co-workers is always talkative and energetic, one day she came in and she didn’t even talk to any of us. We also thought she was upset and that there was something wrong, but all that happened was that she was really tired and needed some sleep. Lastly, I have also gotten in uncomfortable situations because I was misunderstood at the workplace. One time, my co-worker asked me if I wanted coffee, and it was noisy at that moment so I screamed and said “No.” Well just by the tone of my voice, she thought I was yelling at her, instead of only trying to get her to hear me. Needless to say, she was upset with me because she thought I was being disrespectful. Thankfully, I was able to explain to her what happened and resolve the problem. As you can see, all of these situations could have created a problem in the workplace between co-workers. Fortunately we were able to discuss the problem and prevent it from escalating any further.
ReplyDeleteNonverbal communication can be very interesting to decipher, and at times it can accidentally lead to misunderstandings that can hurt a relationship or friendship temporarily.
ReplyDeleteOne example of nonverbal communication gone wrong was the other day when I was talking to a friend. It had been a long day of work and school, and he asked me how I was feeling. I said I was doing fine. Apparently, my nonverbal cues said otherwise. He kept asking me if anything was wrong. I maintained that I was doing just fine. He said there was no way I was doing just fine. This is a time when nonverbal communication can conflict with verbal communication and hinder conversation.
Another example of nonverbal communication gone wrong was when I was waiting at a doctor's office to be seen at the doctor. Unknown to me, somebody I had known from back in high school was sitting a few seats next to me. A few minutes into the wait, I finally noticed him, and after we introduced ourselves again, I asked him why he didn't talk to me earlier if he had seen me. He told me that I had my arms folded and I looked like I didn't want to bothered. That wasn't the case. This is another case where nonverbal communication can be at odds with how you really feel.
The last example of a misunderstanding of nonverbal communication came in an email I sent to my Dad. He sent me an email, and I sent a reply back stating I didn't want to be bothered. I would never say anything like that to my Dad, and the comment was meant to be tongue-in-cheek and funny. He didn't take it that way... he was made when we saw each other later. Email is an example where nonverbal communication can go bad.
What can be done differently to avoid these instances? You just need to be more careful how you portray yourself. Your nonverbal cues are just as important as what you say verbally.
The first of my examples of poor non-verbal communication comes from our own class setting. During our last class the professor interpreted my non-verbal communication to be of remote disinterest, due to my looking at the screen of my computer, and sudden moments of participation. While the professor perceived my non-verbal communication to be one of disinterest, I was in fact interested and following along with the class. This first instance of non-verbal miscommunication shows that I could have achieved more eye contact with the professor, or perhaps could have maintained better posture to show the professor I was involved in the class, instead of slouching and looking at my computer.
ReplyDeleteThe second example of poor non-verbal communication comes from a recent instance in my workplace. As a waiter clearing plates away from a table is part of my job. My usual non-verbal action when clearing the plates is to do a kind of and wave while I stand to the left of the person, at which point they normally nod for me to remove their plate. In this particular instance I preformed my non-verbal action, and the woman nodded, however, when it came time for me to place the desert menus she asked me,
“Where’s the food.” I politely said that I had discarded the food, at this point the woman became enraged because there was a breakdown in the chain of non-verbal communication. I believed she did not wish to take her food home when she in fact did. To avoid this in the future perhaps the supplementation of verbal communication to this non-verbal action would help to avoid such incidents in the future.
The third non-verbal misinterpretation stems from another situation at work, at a table of four gentlemen, one signaled that he wished to have the check by signaling me with his eyes. I approached with check in hand, at which point the man slipped a credit card to me, I thought I heard some commotion at the table, but left to run the card, when I returned two of the other men at the table told me I should have known it was the man who paid’s birthday, since they said nothing, I imagine they wished to have me discern this from their non-verbal communication, and while sometimes such a feet is possible, however, it was not in this instance.
Non-verbal communication can be misinterpreted very easily especially in today’s technologically advanced professional and social world. I have experienced misunderstandings mostly through emails and text messages. A friend and I were text messaging back and forth about various subjects and when she used capital lettering or over punctuated I didn’t know whether she was angry with me, yelling at me, or excited in a positive way.
ReplyDeleteMy second incident of non-verbal misinterpretation happened while at work on a busy Friday night. I work in a restaurant and guest satisfaction is the most important goal for us. I had a party of 9 come in during the peak of our wait, and one of the guests in the party asked if they could be set up in the bar. That was no problem, I estimated and calculated a quote time for them and told them I would keep them updated with the status of their table. 20 minutes later, she came back to me saying that they changed their minds and would like to be in the dining room, and I had already made arrangements for them to be in the bar, I had other parties waiting ahead of them who had already requested the dining room, and I looked at her with a blank stare and then quickly caught myself, smiled and explained to her that it was unfortunately going to be longer to accommodate her change of preference at the last minute while I was on a 40 minute wait. But in that moment that I didn’t speak, I gave off a single or vibe that I was annoyed and aggravated. I quickly realized my emotions on the inside were showing on the outside.
Lastly, another incident at work occurred when my GM sat me down at the end of my shift and told me he knew something was bothering me and was worried about me and wanted to know if everything was alright. I changed my demeanor immediately and told him I simply wasn’t feeling so well and I was just tired from over-exerting myself between work and school. I am normally a very energetic, talkative person when I’m at work and because I had a few days where I kept to myself and looked a little gloomy, he thought there was more to it. My body language and attitude were a dead give away.
Non-verbal communication can often times create alot og grey area in which the meaning of the communicator is lost especially when the person recieving the message has a frame of reference that creates miscommunciation.
ReplyDeleteMy three examples are first while building a deck and concentrating on what I was doing my boss asked me a question. I heard the question and without diverting my attention gave a very short succint answer. This was misinterpreted as me being angry because of my body language and when my boss asked what was wrong I had to explain that I was not angry and it's just I didn't want to take my concentration away from the task at hand.
Second I really don't like short abbreviated text messages using improper grammer and punctuation. So when i write my own texts they're usually grammatically correct this has occasionally led to the misunderstanding that i'm angry because of the way my tone is percieved by the reciever.
Finally I'm not a very smiley person. It's not that I'm unhappy or upset I generally just dont tend to have a big smile on my face and feel unnatural when i try and force it. In the past this has led people to assume incorrectly that I'm upset about something or not such a nice person. It's pretty difficult to get me upset so I would say 99.9% of the time if I'm not smiling it's not because I'm upset and as for being a nice person I'd like to think I am but i supppose that question is better left to those who no me. The point is that people who don't know me occasionally make the assumption that no smile means I must be mad.
One example when my nonverbal communication was misunderstood was when I was with a group of friends. I was very quiet that day because I was very tired from being up late the night before. They assumed I was mad or upset about something, but really I was just exhausted. Obviously they did not clue in to what I was nonverbally communicating, or maybe I was unaware of how others would perceive it.
ReplyDeleteAnother time was at school. The professor was communicating to me about instructions and how to complete a certain assignment. I did not respond to her thinking that she would understand that I got the message. She took this as me being rude and inconsiderate when I did not intend for that at all. I quickly confirmed that she had misunderstood and that I was just taking in the information she was giving.
The last example from past experience was at work. I had not spoken to my manager for my entire shift and she had thought I was avoiding her and possibly not doing any work. When she had finally come and spoken to me I quickly cleared that up and showed her what I had been working on the entire time. The whole back room was taken from an array of disorganized items, boxes, and crates and turned into a very neat and orderly configuration. Needless to say, she was pleasantly surprised.
The first moment in which my nonverbal communication was misunderstood was when I was coaching football. One of my players had come through the line to block a kick and completely took out the holder and kicker which is normally a dirty play and unacceptable. Noticing what had happened but not really registering it in my head I started to clap and get excited because a weaker player got through the line and actually blocked the kick the right way. The kid who had the cheap shot of a hit came running over to the sideline all pumped up and celebrating near me because he thought I was excited he did that. I eventually explained to him how that was wrong and even yelled at him a little because he knows better than that. If I had waited until the kids came to the sideline and spoke to each player individually, the player who did wrong would have immediately realized he was wrong and I would have congratulated the other kid. The second time is also on the football field, only I was a player. I was playing in a real intense game where the score was close and both sides were all fired up. There was this one play where the other team was on offense and it was 4th down. They decided to go for it and ran a play around the outside. I came up and laid a big hit on the running back to knock him out of bounds just short of the 1st down. Everyone on my team and the fans went crazy because now it was our ball, but after the hit I stood over the kid a short moment and stared at him. I was doing so because the kid wasn’t getting up right away and he looked hurt, well the referee’s thought I was taunting him and celebrating so they threw a flag which gave the other team a 1st down. If I had hit the kid got up started to walk away and didn’t stand directly over the kid it wouldn’t have seemed like I was taunting him. Due to the emotion and scenario of the game that’s what it had looked like. The third and final moment didn’t really happen to me but I was in the car. My dad and I were on our way to a game of some short, I think it was soccer when I was little. We come through an intersection where my dad slows down and is confused on what this cop is doing when he came to the intersection. My dad must have give a look of confusion or something like that to the cop because the cop swung around and pulled us over just pass the intersection. When he approached the car he had asked my dad what all the dirty looks were for and my dad explained to him his side of the situation. Needless to say we didn’t get a ticket or anything but if my dad hadn’t given off the wrong impression and not made his facial and physical expressions the cop wouldn’t have pulled us over.
ReplyDeleteMy first time where I encountered a lack in nonverbal communication is through text messages. Talking through text messages it is hard to get across they way you want something to sound. The way you word things is very important because people can take it the wrong way but that is now you wanted it to come across as.
ReplyDeleteAnother example is in my workplace. When I am either tired or have to stay later because people decide not to show up I tend to show it. I get aggrevated and don't act the way I should be towards customers. I feel that that is a big problem because sales strive on customer service and how you treat them. So I turned around and changed my demeanor towards my customers.
Finally my last nonverbal communication was misunderstood is when I am tired and I tell my friends I don't want to go out. They take it as I dont't want to see them. I realized there are different ways to tell them through messages.